Out Of My Hands

With rights being jerked away from me
Left and right
I'd expect to feel defenseless
Yet I feel strong and ready to fight
I feel hopeful and in pain
I feel happy and useless
There's one right that will never leave
Even if it's demanded
The right to be me
And part of me is loving you
Yet another is us.
And that's been taken
So i assume never got shorter
And I'm losing every right
This is before my eyes
Yet out of my hands.

A Beautiful Nightmare

All the promises you made have turned
into awful memories
And all memories have turned
into cruel jokes
The pain from them
could make a nightmare seem beautiful.
I should have listened to all they said
But there's no going back
I am lonely and I love you
yet that means nothing anymore
You used to be the one
I turned to when I was this upset
But how do you turn to the one
who hurt you?
Love only makes the pain worse
Yet  i still cling to it.
You're my best friends
how could I?
I'll love you for a long time
But what's even the point?
To say I don't need you
Would be a lie
Or to say I don't want you would be cray
Am I nothing to you?
Time to face my beautiful nightmare.... alone

Goodbyes

To think how fastly it ended
Sends me spinning and puts me in pain.

It seemed unreal and cray
Until a strange peace came over me.

I am proud of you, for having courage
That's something I lack.

I felt worthless at irst
But then I remembered all you used to say

I still trust and I love you but
I know I'm not longer lucky to be loved by you.

So this is my goodbye
To us, to all we were and coulda been.

My goodbye to your love and my hopes
My love just won't leave

Love stories don't mean the same anymore
so I'll choose to stay out of them.

I'll say goodbye to them too
Atleast while I'm getting started

So once again I'm saying goodbye
To us and hello to me

I'm saying hello to who I can be
And to the one who'll never leave me.

But I have one last plea
No more goodbyes, please?

What's wrong with me?

Maybe I care
or maybe I don't

I am starting to think
that I do

Otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here right now
Writing these words

Sitting in confusion
Trying to find out who I am.

Taking every word you've said to heart
Is it all  true?

I am starting to believe in everything I hate
Could you just take me as I am?

I am sorry for all that I do
I disappoint and surprise

I rebel and I smile
I live and I love

I hurt and I forgive
What is wrong with me????

Why????

Selfish thoughts cloud my mind
Leaving me ashamed.

I want what's best
But how could you.

I feel lost
Even thinking about it

I want to run
Or where to stay even

What do I do
or say

How am I supposed
to feel?

Feelings

I sit and take it
Trying to ignore it

You think I don't listen
I really soak in every word

I apply to myself
And begin to live it

I hear every bad thing you say about me,
It eventually becomes true.

Maybe if you knew that I actually do have feelings,
You'd stop.

I highly doubt it although,
I mean who really cares what I feel

Feelings are just feelings,
Yet they become true after time.

Tell you what if you leave me be,
I'll be happy leaving you be, for the rest of your life.

Making Me Nothing

Maybe you are wrong,
maybe you are right.

Who even knows,
in a world like this

Where everything is wrong
with everyone you know

You must point it out
Until they believe it

I am officially tired of it
Don't tell me who I am

I'll be who I am
If you'll be who you are

Just because you have problems
Doesn't mean they should be on me

Maybe just maybe
I could be something

If only you'd stop trying to make me nothing
Maybe I actually do wish to succeed.

Love Isn't You

Love isn't defined by you
I don't try to be in

Who wants to be
Go with your friends

Laugh, gossip
Please yourself

See if I care
Love isn't you.

Rebellion

I'm not quiet
because I have nothing to say

I am quiet because
I have too much to say

I'm too afraid to speak out
I was never like this before

Until I was associated with you
All I can say is I'm done

I am done giving you what you want
I won't give up

I'd like for you to see
I don't do what I'm told

I rebel and I smile
To go against you

Nothing can stop me
So go ahead and hate me

See if I care
I'm fine without you.

In the Blink of an Eye

In one day
the horror begins
of memorization and scales

You just sit and shake
In the dead silend of the big room
on the old stool.

You hope for approval
of one person
Within those thirty minutes

You plan for weeks
For it all to be over
In a blink of an eye.

Fairytale World

My heart aches as I begin to think


About all I wish for



A fairytale world of the past

Living in castles



Beautiful dresses and dances

Wishes coming true



Spending forever with you

Hand in hand



Spinning and twirling

Never letting go



Relying on each other

To make it through



A life full of laughter

Living in the fairytale world



You’re the only one I wish to fulfill that with

Spending it forever with you